Scotland - Glengoyne, An Then, and Mr. Executive Class

Ok – last Scotland post. Finally.

So my Venezuelan buddy Raymond wanted to see a distillery, and planned the whole trip out. I just went along for the ride. After I get to Glasgow, I do the math and ask Raymond, “Are we really spending 4 hours on busses and 2 hours in Glasgow for a 90 minute distillery tour?” And he answers, “Yus, Ahndy. Eet was reallee de only way we could make sure we saw a deestillllllleree.” And I said, “Raymond, you’re my kind of traveler.”

Anyway, if you've been to a winery, you know the drill. To their credit, they start you off with a nice generous helping of 10 year old Whiskey as you walk in the room, and if you turn your head a 2nd one magically appears just as fast, so I give them style points for that. And really, two glasses at scotch is two more than you need before noon. Glengoyne’s claim to fame is that their 17 year old Single Malt is the most recent winner of the World Series of Scotch. So, in a fit of extravagance, I bought a bottle, egged on by the fact that if I managed not to lose all the paperwork between now and then, I can get a check back for the 17% VAT when I return back home. That probably will only make the bottle 40% more than I would have paid in the states. But hey, I had to bring home a souvenir.

This also means that anyone who comes over for dinner the first time I reacquaint myself with my house and have people over will likely enjoy a mighty fine glass of Whiskey. Look at me bribing people to hang out with me when I get back…

I only saw a piece of Glasgow (which doesn't have the same flair as Edinburgh) but have one funny story. I said earlier that Scotish accents are even harder to understand than English. We stopped in a Burger King (I know, I know) at 10:45am because we had a few minutes before the bus left for the distillery. I asked the girl behind the counte, "Are you serving breakfast or lunch now?" Her response was, "An Then.” I stared for a second, turned my head and looked at Raymond, who simply shrugged his shoulders with a look of, “Don’t look at me, it’s your F@#$%^& language.” So I turned back and tried again. “Are you serving Breakfast or Lunch?” And she said again, "An Then.”

It became quite clear that we could do this dance all morning, and tempted as I was, we did have a bus to catch so I started trying to decode. Did she want to say, “Eleven?” “Eating?” “And then you can order?” After about 15 seconds of an American, a Venezuelan and a Scot staring hopelessly at each other in a Glasgow Burger King, I ventured, “Did you say I could have ‘Anything?’” And she said, “Yeah, An Then.”

Last thing - I have picked up a nickname. Whenever I travel with my group and make hotel of dinner suggestion, I now get back, “Oh, I see Mr. Executive Class has found a nice expensive place for us.” Which frankly, I really find hilarious. I’ve been called a lot of things, but I don’t think “free-spending” had ever been one of them…

Ok, Scotland is in the books. I could talk about being a 32 year old guy living in a 20 room castle/hostel for 2 days, but frankly I’m still trying to erase the memory, so we’ll just leave it at that.